The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
