But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
