How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
