the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize