Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
