69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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