we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
