me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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