I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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