i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
