you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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