Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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