Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize