I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
