she was so not down for the gang bang
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
