i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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