At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
