Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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