This girl is more easily done than said...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
