try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
