coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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