So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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