I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize