I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
