I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize