sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
