some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
