and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
