Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
