i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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