Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
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