This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
