Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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