There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
