I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
and she was petting her beer can
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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