He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You were trust falling into bushes
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
