How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
