There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
