I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
