just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
