My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
