My liver just broke up with me...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
