Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
