he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
