I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
