I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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