Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You know, be my cock's hype man.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
