So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
