I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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