I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My dick has a subreddit
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
