is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize