whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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