I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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