their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
