i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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