What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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