please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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