I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
