So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
