im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
