My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
