Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Randomize
