Pants 0. Shit 1.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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