You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
